certainly
not the first one to comment of the ‘Hantzification’ of Survivor. Ever since Russell came onto the scene and,
in his own words ‘saved’ Survivor, the show has been living in the shadow of
his legacy.
Whatever
the actual ratings numbers are, I think we can agree Rusell Hantz has become an
important figure. That’s why so much of
the past 3 years since Heroes vs. Villians have continued to centre around
Russell even when he’s not involved.
Case in point is Brandon. Now I
know Brandon says he applied to the show through the normal process. I also know that a junior producer sifting
through applicants isn’t NOT going to red flag any application with the word
‘Hantz’ on it.
 |
| You're on the show! |
To me
Brandon just feels like a pathetic excuse for the show to keep bringing up
Russell without being able to use Russell anymore. It’s like this is a cast of 18, but so far
it’s all been about Cochran, Ozzy, Coach, Brandon and Russell Hantz, with a
little bit of Jim Rice for seasoning.
The problem I have as both a Survivor fan and a non-Russell fan, is so
far we’ve had more focus on Russell that we have on Sophie and Albert. Sophie and Albert, you know, part of the
final 3, one of them being the winner… Yes Sophie’s been involved giving
confessionals, but we haven’t seen anything of her taking any active role in
the decision making around camp or in her own game. Instead, I think in this episode there were
about 4 or 5 references to the identity of Brandon’s uncle as if it is supposed
to have some profound impact on how the game is to be played.
Are there
people so in love with Russell that they are just sitting on the couch hoping
that Brandon becomes Russell like? Or
does the show think they are satisfying viewers by constantly reminding us of
Russell? This Russell Hantz thing is
really only going to give diminishing returns on the show since nobody wants to
play with him anymore, and Brandon isn’t remotely the player Russell is.
 |
| "He's gonna do something Russel like soon! I just know it!" |
On to the
recap. Ozzy is hanging on the hammock
with Elyse, clearly the happiest man on Savaii if not Survivor South Pacific
itself. I really wonder how Brandon
would react to seeing this. Ozzy makes
reference to being obsessed as a kid with ‘Survivalism’. And oh look, that’s the name of this episode! I believe this is our first one with no
allusion to the bible. I suppose that’s
progress.
Now Ozzy
being close to Elyse bothers Jim Rice because he knows how powerful a pair can
be on Survivor. Jim is about as close to
a Survivor superfan as you can be without being Cochran, so he decides the time
is right to bring Cochran into his inner circle so that he can dis-arm
Ozzy. If Ozzy can have his two person
pact, so can Jim Rice.
It’s weird
to think of Coach as being some kind of great strategist, but so far he is
miles ahead of Ozzy. I’m sure Ozzy feels
quite comfortable with his position in the game (that position being on the
hammock with Elyse. Yeah he’s quite comfortable.)
but he just isn’t aware of all the signals he’s telegraphing to his
tribemates. If Survivor is about
anything, it’s trying to disguise the hierarchy that exists in the tribe. Right now on Savaii it is out in plain sight.
Jim
confides in Cochran that he wants to make a big move. Cochran does what any good Survivor does in
his situation and agrees to everything Jim says, while at the same time
questioning all of it when alone with the camera. Cochran gets a strong ‘used car salesman’
vibe off Jim and that’s a pretty fair assumption. Jim Rice is a great talker but it isn’t just
Cochran getting a used car salesman vibe off Jim. His whole way of talking just shouts ulterior
motive. I like to think of every
Survivor as having their assets and their flaws, and yes, even the very best
Survivors have flaws. With Jim Rice I’d
say his charisma and his brain are his greatest assets, and his greatest flaws
are his crooked smile. When he’s talking
strategy, he’s so forward with it that you can easily infer a great amount of
deception, if only because he’s clearly going to be the best at pulling it
off. You might as well assume you’re
playing with Cesternino. I really want
to see Jim Rice play again if only because I think his story arc needed a
better pay off than the one we’ll inevitably get.
After the
condensed title sequence we come across a Brandon confessional. “This game to me is so jacked up when it
comes to people’s feelings.” My
annoyance threshold with Survivor players is small. I figure every Survivor player is entitled to
a couple confessionals an episode but when you get only a handful of players at
the expense of the others, and when the confessionals you do get are just
re-hashes of what you’ve already gotten (Or just utter nonsense in the case of
Phillip) I start to get really annoyed.
Brandon is still upset about his actions, but at least this time, he
apologizes to Mikayla, and at least this time it feels like a real
apology.
Mikayla
however isn’t quite over it. She says
“Look who his uncle is!” Is that
seriously her main concern? These
interviews go on for quite a while and while I don’t know Mikayla that well, I have to believe her number one concern
with Brandon has got to be his strange possibly sexual obsession with her, not
the identity of his uncle. Here the
editors go again highlighting the memory of wonderful god like Russell at the
expense of anything actually happening on Survivor South Pacific.
Next
Brandon goes to Edna and we get a real moment.
“I care about you.” He says to
her in a sympathetic and calming voice.
“You’ve been a very good friend to me.
This whole time I’ve known that the people you’ve trusted have lied to
you. There’s definitely a core 5.” Now this is something that could be either
good or bad. I see good in it in that
when they get to a merge situation and the cast has shrunk to about 7 or 8,
Brandon may want to think about how to leverage himself into that final 3 and
because he gave Edna the truth all the way back here in day 9, Edna will trust
him when he says ‘We gotta shake things up.’
Only… That isn’t why Brandon is doing this. “This is quite definitely the worst game
strategy in the world.” he says. So this
is just Brandon being nice it seems. This
makes for great television I’m sure, but in terms of the suspense of who will
win I think we can basically rule out Brandon at this point. It will come as a blindside when we find out
around final 5 (well, the FIRST final 5) that Brandon is considered a threat to
win a jury vote.
Over on
Savaii we get a scene where they have to decide which two go to the Redemption
Island duel. Nobody wants to go. Seems the Survivors want to watch Redemption
Island duels as much as we do. Jim
finally agrees to go with Cochran even though it kind of implies that the two
of them are now together. I can admit
I’ve been there, having free movie tickets and nobody to go with except for the
one kid in school nobody wants to do
anything with, except I think I was that one kid instead of the one with the
tickets.
We also get
a scene where Savaii gets their red bathing suits from production and they all
look pretty except for Dawn. I cannot
relate to this at all since no TV producer has ever handed me a bathing suit
and I’m not Dawn. Dawn is reminded of
her age and starts to wonder if she is Rudy.
They’ve stopped casting 70 year old friends of Mark Burnett so Dawn
might as well be the closest to Rudy.
Before
leaving, Jim proposes some kind of a strategy to Ozzy and Elyse. I tried playing this scene twice to figure
out exactly what Jim was proposing but all I could get was something about
wanting to plant a seed in Upolu that Savaii wasn’t a united tribe. Considering the politics in the tribe I don’t
foresee them having to make a show of this.
Ozzy’s response, “I think it’s too early right now.” Jim leaves and Ozzy mocks Jim behind his
back. “Strategy, strategy,
strategy. Chill out bro.” Ozzy then tells the camera that “Jimmy’s
trying to play the strategy point too much.”
Considering Ozzy’s history with Survivor, I’m not sure he’s a qualified
speaker on this topic. People are playing
strategic and you can’t just put a stop to it by giving standing orders and
expect people to follow. Somebody who’s
already been blindsided before should know that the game doesn’t just stop
being played when you’re not looking.
We cut to
Redemption Island, which we haven’t seen at all this episode yet. Jeff uses Papa Bear’s arrival to play
storyteller some more.
Jeff: How does it feel to see Jim and Cochran who voted you
out, coming here to watch you.
Papa Bear: I’m
jumping back in with Upolu.
Jeff: (To Brandon on
the Upolu bench) That sounds good to you right?
Brandon: I want to
apologize to you (Christine) about the way I was to you at that tribal council.
Jeff: Christine. Do you accept Brandon’s apology?
Christine: I accept
it. Weather or not I buy it is a
different story.
Okay first
off, you can’t accept an apology then openly question it immediately
afterwards. Stop being oxymoronic.
Second of
all, I think I can see why Jeff Probst likes Redemption Island so much as it
gives him more time to play the Jeff Probst Show. See how he directs the entire conversation
there, prompting players for responses?
I’ve heard Jeff in interviews talk about his role as being that of
telling the story, and speaking for what the audience is thinking. I can’t help but find that a little
condescending, even if Probst means well.
It’s like that kid in improv who thinks he alone has the offer that will
‘fix’ the scene, when in fact the scene is going on perfectly well on its
own. As if we the audience aren’t dumb
enough to have already figured out that if Papa Bear returns he’d flip to the
Upolu side. This is to say nothing of
the fact that how Probst narrates the show in it’s ‘Previously On’ segments is
often completely inconsistent with what we later her in exit interviews,
framing the entire story around Coach and ignoring the winner entirely.
 |
| Redemption Island was clearly a precursor to this. |
The duel is
your standard bean bag throwing challenge.
I suppose I should be rooting for Papa Bear but I know he can’t make his
way back into the game, so why not just skip ahead to the point where he loses
and Probst does more ‘Jeff Probst Show’ banter.
Christine wins and tells the camera that “I want the spectators to see
that I’m still in it.” Yes they see. Weather or not they care is a different matter
entirely.
 |
| Live Update : They don't. |
Back on
Upolu, we find that Edna is shaken up by what Brandon has told her, about there
being a core 5 and that she isn’t in it.
Edna decides to just try and be more social around camp, even walking on
Coach’s back for him. None of this works
though since Stacey and Mikayla do parallel confessionals where they rail on
how annoying Edna is. This must be the
scariest part about Survivor next to the vote off, that being having to watch
people talk crap about you to the camera months later. Submitting yourself to reality TV sets you up
for it so you have to be prepared, but it’s still got to be tough. I think I could handle internet commentators
but people you lived with for several days is another thing. Talking crap about people to the cameras is
unfortunately a time honoured tradition on reality TV and the last thing they
want to hear in the casting room is “I will not talk crap about people on
TV.” I sympathize with Edna, I really
do.
In the next
scene Dawn updates Cochran on Ozzy’s standing orders not to talk about strategy
and how it infuriated her. It’s clear
that Ozzy is losing control of his tribe.
Dawn wants him out but she doesn’t think she can get traction on the
‘vote Ozzy out’ platform, but she might have a chance with ‘vote Elyse’. Cochran likes that! So now Cochran and Jim have 3 votes to
leverage here. 3 out of 7. I’m liking the way Cochran and Jim are taking
baby steps here but they are just making it that much harder on themselves
after the merge since they will not be entering it with a united tribe. The obvious move is to blindside Ozzy but
Redemption Island literally makes that a redundant move.
On to the
immunity challenge and it’s the classic Survivor challenge of having to hold
the weight of sand bags on top of your shoulders. This one dates all the way back to Australian
Outback. There’s a lot of grunting
giving meme creators lots of great fodder for grunting shots. I’ll just skip to the end where it’s Dawn
versus Stacey in the final showdown, both with the exact amount of weight on
their shoulders. Stacey utilizes the
‘shoulder on butt’ strategy but pays the price for it. She loses immunity for her tribe and has to
have a sore ass for the rest of the day.
Not a good combination with the awful stools they supply at Tribal
Council.
As they
return to camp, Coach makes an inspirational speech about how “We gotta put it
all in the past. We live to fight
another day”, ignoring the fact that only 7 live to fight another day unless
you seriously think anyone not Ozzy has a chance of returning from Redemption
Island and winning.
Edna is
kind of desperate to make sure she doesn’t go home, so who does she talk
to? Stacey. Stacey?
Did Brandon inadvertently name her as one of the 5? Stacey who has NO alliance? Edna subtly asks Stacey if she should be
packing her bags. Hey Edna, way to ask
if you’re going home without asking if you’re going home. I’m surprised that anyone considers not
packing their bags at tribal council.
Stacey, for
her part doesn’t give Edna anything. In
her confessional she says “You haven’t talked to me since day one and now you
want to talk to me?” Stacey feels she
proved something despite losing the challenge.
“Could Edna lift 20?” This
particular point of course doesn’t matter since Survivor never repeats
challenges until deep into the merge.
The next
scene shows Coach approaching Stacey, leaning over her as she sits in a
not-entirely creepy way. Stacey asks
Coach where she stands. Coach’s response
is “I really like you.” This of course
means she’s screwed. Stacey then
delivers a really nice confessional about how she isn’t taking Coach’s BS and
is going to do whatever she has to do to stay.
So Stacey
approaches the one member of the tribe with “Stupid” written on his forehead
and tells him to watch out for Sophie, Mikayla and Albert. Brandon being completely gullible reports
this shocking news to Coach.
We then get what is my favorite
scene of the season so far. Coach puts
Brandon in his place. I believe his
exact words were ‘I want you to stop it.
Look at me, this game is going to get so much crazier than this. If you believe somebody who’s on death row,
then you might as well be throwing in the towel right now.’ THIS folks, I think is the real Benjamin
speaking right here. I’ve said it before
that I think the real player behind Coach has been dormant until this
season. This scene plays out without
pretension, without the usual Dragonslayer metaphors, it’s just Coach dealing
with a hot headed child minded tribe mate who’s about to screw over his entire
game. After two season, Coach has become the level headed
straight man.
Just as Coach starts making a lot
of sense, Brandon does what every jerk off friend does when challenged and
calls out Coach. “I’m just curious how
many people screwed you over the last two times you played?” Typical Brandon. Instead of listening he turns it on
Coach. Isn’t this kind of how Robert
DeNiro’s character in ‘Mean Streets’ behaved, spitting on every helping hand
out of defiance of all authority?
I love the next thing from
Coach. Without hesitation he rebuts
“Cause both games I had my head in the sand, and I wasn’t playing the
game.” I’ve never seen Caoch this self
aware! If this was Scott Pilgrim and we
were in the final boss fight, I’d give Coach the Sword of Self Awareness. Like I’ve said, Coach had a lot of fun being
on TV but I think the pre merge (almost pre jury) blindside on HvV scared some
sense into him for this time.
When this first aired this scene
played into that whole suspense of ‘who will be voted out’ but now I can really
just appreciate it on its own. I think
it’s the first real moment of honesty we’ve seen from Coach.
Sophie has a confessional in here
teasing that she will turn on Brandon but it doesn’t amount to much. Oh and Albert still has had no confessional.
We go to Tribal Council and Coach
manages to talk through the entire trip there in voiceover. I’d say it appears the producers were scraped
for time, but then we get just about the worst question and answer session from
Jeff Probst we may have ever seen.
First he asks Coach the obvious
question about Stacey and her challenge performance. Coach makes a reference to the ‘warrior
spirit’ and Jeff’s eyes light right up.
Jeff is just too easy to please.
Jeff then asks Sophie “How is
strength defined on this tribe.” He must
not have cared for her answer so he turns to group therapy. “Rick, the most annoying thing about Albert
is…?” Seriously? Jeff must do this every time tribal council
gets boring. Didn’t he do this again on
One World? What’s worse is that this
between the two members of Upolu we know the least about.
Rick is not about to talk crap
about Albert outside of a confessional, so after an extremely long pause he
utters “he snores?!” Rick then doesn’t
speak for 10 episodes.
Jeff then turns to Brandon. “Brandon, the most annoying thing about Edna is
what?” Brandon’s answer should be “Jeff
why don’t you mind your own f***ing business.” In which case I’d become
Brandon’s biggest fan. Instead he notes
that she talks quite a lot re-stating what was already established earlier in
this episode.
Jeff must have gone one by one
asking everyone something about everyone else.
Eventually he gets to Mikayla.
Jeff : Mikayla, most annoying thing about Brandon.
Mikayla :He’s a good kid but it ‘s always in the back of my
mind who his uncle is.
Jeff : Who’s his uncle?
Mikayla : Russell.
Jeff
doesn’t ask which Russell so I can only imagine he’s thinking this is Russell’s
Swan’s nephew he has in front of him.
 |
| Pictured : Brandon's uncle possibly. |
Jeff : Why does it matter?
Mikayla : Blood’s blood.
 |
| When suddenly Jeff had an idea... |
Brandon
defends himself against what he shouldn’t be having to defend against. “I just want to be someone that god’s proud
of. I don’t wnt to be mis-represented to
my family. Because it affecte my family
big time when this big thing happened with Russell. You can only protect him so much. You can’t help somebody who’s done that to
himself.” That last comment is where I
get lost. What did Russell do to
himself? He played Survivor and bullied
a couple people and lost two jury votes because of that. That’s all the matters to me. Does Russell and the family think they’ve
been hurt by the backlash from fans? I
would have thought Russell was too tough to let any of that get to him,
especially since he won fan favorite twice in a row. Must be so terrible to lose in reality TV
competition.
 |
| Look at that poor man... |
Probst
tries to clarify the point right here.
“You feel a responsibility to reclaim the family name in the public
light.” To be clear, I never judged the
Hantz family at all until Brandon showed up.
It’s the same way I don’t judge the entire Hatch family as being cocky
because Richard was so. If Richard’s
nephew showed up and walked around naked, maybe I’d start to wonder, that his
nephew and Brandon’s nephew have their chance to assert their own individual
personality.
Probst
finally asks Albert. “Russell’s a master
manipulator. Is the vote now about
trust?” Is Probst suggesting they vote
Brandon out entirely because of who his uncle is? Memo to Jeff Probst, STOP ASKING PLAYERS
ABOUT PEOPLE NOT IN THE GAME!
Stacey gets
voted out. There’s no hilarious
misspellings but Albert writes ‘Stacey POH’ for reasons I can’t
understand.
Then we get
a classic Coach scene. Stacey grabs her
bags and Coach has this idea that everyone will give her a hug. The whole tribe rises but Stacey blocks the
hug! I can relate to that! I don’t like being hugged by total strangers,
and Coach might just be worse than that!
Jeff remarks on this and Stacey says “That’s not real. Everything, that wasn’t true. I will be back. Pro…probably.” Okay I added that last thing.
 |
| "But seriously... I'll be back." |
In the next
week on Survivor they make a big deal about everyone calling Coach
Benjamin. That’s sure to drive the
ratings up. Also a lot of eating.
In what is
supposed to be the final words segment Stacey meets up with Christine at
Redemption Island.
Stacey : Guess who’s running things … Coach.
Christine: I knew it.
I knew it.
So…
what?!
George?
George Hawtin
Previouslies show what I'm pretty sure is a previously unseen
confessional of Stacey (when has Stacey talked?) saying she's on the bottom,
and, predictably, give Coach and Ozzy credit for things they didn't do. It says
Coach is most worried about Brandon? No - Sophie is. Says Ozzy is in a five
alliance with himself, Jim, and Keith as the core and the girls as peripheral?
No - that formulation was Jim's. Ozzy seems to think of it, as he should, as a
five; it's Jim's Hall of Fame strategic mind that's framed it as a three plus
two.
Aside (I'm sure we'll get into this more): I've been hard on Jim
in these writeups, but unlike when I'm hard on Brandon, it's because I think
he's really close to being a really good Survivor player. Good strategic mind,
good social mind. Just, sort of like my beloved Jonathan Penner, he sometimes
overshoots or misreads *just a little bit*. Like the part where he thought he
could divide his five into a three and a two, with Keith in the three and
Whitney in the two? Except...we've seen that Keith and Whitney were already
well on their way to forming a relationship that would lead to their marriage.
So maybe Keith isn't going to be more loyal to you than to his future wife,
Jim. The hole in Jim's game is that he's too self-oriented; he thinks of
[i]his[/i] game and what [i]he[/i] wants to do (in this case, be bros with Keith
and Ozzy) without considering other people's relationships and interests. He's
almost like a Lex who thought Boston Rob would be more loyal to him than to
Amber. It's frustrating because Jim has so much stuff going on. Clearly a
smart, articulate, game-savvy dude. But he has these little lapses, and they
vex me. He's still on my list of people I'd like to see back as an All-Star,
though, because again, I think he's smart enough to have learned from the
mistakes he made in South Pacific. More than you can say for Cochran.
Elyse and Ozzy cuddly in the hammock. Ozzy tells us about the
first book he ever read, "Robinson Crusoe" - I assume this was last
week sometime - and how it taught him about "survivalism". See,
things like this are what make this season (and so much of modern Survivor) so
deeply weird and uncomfortable for me. By the end of the season, as I recall,
the show was clearly telling us Ozzy is the HERO for whom we must root or else
we're evil. (Certainly the advertising was telling us that.) The whole season
is built around him and Coach as the stars, the veterans, the good guys. And
yet then they'll do something like show him saying "survivalism", and
draw attention to it by making it the title of the episode. So is Ozzy the hero
I'm supposed to root for or the inarticulate buffoon I'm supposed to laugh at?
Which is it, show?
I notice in some of these shots a very slight facial resemblance
between Elyse and Parvati - Mark, you with me on that?
 |
| Sorry, what was that George? |
Jim gives a semi-rational confessional about how Ozzy and Elyse
are a tight pair and Ozzy has too much power. Again, that's smart...in theory.
But it's just too damned early, Jim. Unlike the guys over on Upolu who still
have a bunch of options (swapping Brandon out for Edna or Mikayla), the Savaii
5 does not have options at this point. You've made it too clear to Cochran and
Dawn that they're on the bottom. So your options are:
a., be the fifth in a tight five with two pairs; ride that to
F5; align with one of the pairs, go to F3; hope it doesn't all blow up in your
face. An imperfect, but okay plan.
b., implode your alliance on day 9; hope for the best.
b., implode your alliance on day 9; hope for the best.
Jim's really an overplayer, like a Todd or a Marty. I can
understand the temptation to look at a situation that isn't 100% perfect and to
try to fix it, but sometimes a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, and
right now, he's got Ozzy's bird right where he...okay, that metaphor went south
and now I need an adult.
Then he goes on to say that "I'm not gonna get Ozzy out, so
Elyse has gotta go." Which...no, I'm sorry, that's just silly. Blowing up
your alliance is not a good idea for Jim at this point, but *if* you're going
to blow up your alliance, you go big. If a guy is too big a threat for your liking,
you take him out. You don't say, "Here's what I'll do - I'll make a move
that fucks up his game maybe 10% (because he can still count on RI) and fucks
up my game 100%! THAT'LL SHOW HIM!" Oh, Jim. I want to love you. Why won't
you let me love you?
 |
| "It's not you, it's me George." |
Jim approaches "Cochran". Says, "I'm gonna tell
you my whole strategy!" No. No, no, no, no, no. If you approach someone
who's previously been on the outs, *you* ask *them*. You guide the conversation
where you want it to go, sure, but it's not, "I'm going to give a speech."
That's so Toddy. Stop being Todd, Jim. Nonetheless, Jim gives his speech (full
of big-deal Survivor talk about "making a big move" and
"eliminating a variable"), and "Cochran"...actually plays
Survivor well for the better part of a minute. He listens actively. He agrees
with what the person's trying to sell him. Well done, Johnny.
Cochran: "Jim's kind of a sketchy character." Which,
yes. Yes, he is. Stop being kind of a sketchy character, Jim. I honestly don't
know what's motivating Jim here. To me, based on his previous interactions with
Ozzy, I think he's jealous...of Elyse. I think he wanted it to be the
three-bros-plus-the-girls-helping-out alliance, and now Ozzy has a girl and
Keith has a girl and he feels like the fifth wheel. But Jim *was* who I rooted
for my first time watching the season, and I wish he'd played a bit better.
Brandon/Mikayla time. I have nothing new to say about Brandon.
He talks about what a changed man he is, but offers the caveat that, "I
can't tell you tomorrow that I won't get upset..." Oh, Brandon, please do.
Please bet me money that tomorrow you won't get upset. Then Mikayla complains
about how Brandon's not trustworthy because "look who his uncle is".
Oh, for crying out loud. Brandon and Russell are nothing alike as players.
Don't judge Brandon on his uncle! Judge Brandon on himself! AND THEN GIVE HIM A
PSYCHIATRIC MEDEVAC FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Edna! Brandon blows the whistle on the five alliance and how
Edna is the sixth. I think it's great how she...does literally nothing, ever,
with that information, as far as I recall. Again: I think it'd be great to see
a Survivor contestant (think Gretchen or Gabriel Cade) who was deliberately
honest to the detriment of their own game. I enjoy players like Dawn in
Caramoan and Tootie in the Philippines who have genuine moral struggles. But
this...isn't that. This is a crazy person.
 |
| And... this is Tootie right? |
Edna confessional: "Brandon told me I was not part of the
alliance of six. That the other five people had just tolerated me and that,
given the opportunity, I'd be the next to go." I wonder if that's what
Brandon told her or if she misunderstood. It seems to me that Edna is the
definition of a peripheral alliance member - that they have an alliance of five
with Edna as their clear sixth. Literally, I can't think of a better example of
that role than the version of it Edna plays in SP. It's not a *great* place to
be, by any stretch, but there's a big difference between where she is - sixth
in a five-plus-one - than where she seems to believe Brandon told her she is -
eighth in a five. Honestly, there are worse game plans than "be Edna, wait
until F7, grab whoever's seventh, fifth and fourth in the pecking order, flip
the game up." Edna's doomed by her passivity, not her position in the
game. Many winners have been in worse shape than Edna is right now. She just
has to do something. *Anything*.
.jpg) |
| "'I'm trying!" |
Aww, Dawn gives a happy confessional. I get really annoyed with
Dawn when she cries, but I love Happy Dawn. Then there's a very brief imbroglio
over who's going to go watch the Redemption Island duel. Jim and Cochran go;
Jim frets about what strategic implications it will have if he's seen to be
alone with Cochran. Oh, for God's sake. If two players are constantly hanging
out alone, constantly running away whenever anyone else comes up to them, etc.
etc. etc., then that looks suspicious. But to think that this would arouse
anyone's suspicions - this situation in which, by definition, two members of
the tribe *have to* be alone together - is just all-time champion overplaying.
I'm just picturing Todd sitting at home watching this: "Yeah! That's some
good strategy, Jim! Never let them see you be alone with the guy on the bottom,
because that would be bad strategy! Keep having good strategy, Jim!"
Seriously, I hope Jim and Todd are friends in real life. And that they hang out
and talk about strategy.
Elyse does a brief dance in her swimsuit. I am happy about this.
Dawn worries about her age. Aw, Dawn. Just before she said that,
I was thinking: Dawn looks very young, fresh, and energetic when she's not
crying. Which, so far on this season, has been most of the time. Then she asks
if she's the Rudy of this tribe, but hastens to add that she loves Rudy. Gosh,
I love Dawn. She isn't always my cup of tea as a Survivor player, but she's
easily one of the sweetest people they've ever cast. In that spirit, I'm going
to avoid commenting on her "it's day 9, maybe alliances might be starting
to form" comment in this confessional.
Then Jim suggests a vintage Jim Rice overplay to Ozzy and Elyse,
which I don't understand---something about going to the Redemption Island duel
and telling the people there that the vote for Papa Bear was a split vote?
But...wouldn't Papa Bear just tell them otherwise? Ozzy shoots this idea down,
and Jim's face just falls. Yeah, this guy is totally Todd - the kind of guy who
thinks Survivor strategy is about quantity, not quality, and that every move is
a good move as long as it's a move. I feel sad for him thinking Ozzy is an
authority figure, though, who has the power to shoot his ideas down. Jim: if
you want to be Todd, be Todd. You have my blessing.
Then Ozzy confessionals about how Jim is overplaying, which,
yes. He is. But then Jim's not even out of earshot before Ozzy starts making
fun of his constant strategy talk. I'm skeptical about this "Ozzy bullied
Cochran" idea, but dating back to the boot of my beloved Billy Garcia, I
[i]have[/i] always thought that Ozzy is a sort of low-level bully - not the guy
who shoved you into a locker in high school, but the guy who wouldn't talk to
you unless you were as pretty as he is. And as much as I get annoyed with John
for seeming to still be in the high school mindset...so does Ozzy, sometimes.
Jim is a flawed player. He's very in love with his own strategic ideas, of which
he has far too many. But he's *your* flawed player, Ozzy. You're stuck with
him. Either treat him well or get rid of him. Making fun of him only serves to
make him....well, vote out Elyse.
Dawn very diplomatically says that Ozzy's strategizing is done
"at a different time or place". Times and places in which Ozzy has
not strategized have been...any of the times he's been on Survivor.
RI duel. "Cochran" and Jim; Edna and Brandon. OH NO
EDNA AND BRANDON ARE ALONE TOGETHER! NOW EVERYONE BACK AT THE UPOLU CAMP WILL
ASSUME THEY'RE A TIGHT PAIR! THAT'S BAD STRATEGY, EDNA AND BRANDON! Just
kidding. Papa Bear talks - socially savvy, too passive for his own good,
eventually (spoiler!) loses his RI duel for sucking at challenges. Brandon
talks - he was wicked in the past but he is really sorry now, and will be for
the next two to three minutes! Christine talks - she accepts Brandon's apology
but remains unpleasant. Basically, all of these people continue to be
themselves.
Random: I like this challenge, where you've got to hit targets
with sandbags. It's...legitimately athletic (I assume the sandbags are heavy,
and you have to have good aim), but not *too* athletic, and, like Redemption
Island itself, it's just ever so slightly askew from the original premise of
Survivor. Like, the Borneo challenges were mostly about survival skills. Now
it's, "Eh. Throw a bag of sand at something." It's lame without being
*too* lame. Papa Bear with the white sandbags, Christine with the black -
symbolism, show?
I truly admire Christine's focus in challenges. It's the epitome
of everything I love about Survivor. This lady came to *play*. Consider how
close the challenge is - Papa Bear loses by one sandbag - and then consider the
long, exaggerated, self-pitying gasps and gestures and...dance moves Papa Bear
makes between throws. If he'd been half as focused as Christine, he'd have won.
So she gets points for that focus. Now if she could ever say anything to anyone
that wasn't completely unpleasant, she'd be the total package.
Christine: "I want the spectators to see there's still
fight in me..." They KNOW, Christine. Believe me, they know.
 |
| Live Update : Still not caring. |
Edna confessional: she's going to try to be social. She does
this, apparently, by being to social play what Jim is to strategy. Stacey and
Mikayla complain. Yeah, if you're seventh and eighth, definitely, give grumpy
confessionals about the lady who's sixth. *That'll* get you to the top!
Dawn and Cochran talk. Dawn wants to gun for Ozzy; Cochran talks
her down to Elyse. Cochran confessionals about wanting to "make the pretty
people feel less secure". Yes, John: that's definitely the goal. Not, say,
winning a million dollars - that's for suckers.
Immunity challenge: I love this challenge too (weight-carrying)!
Yet in an odd twist, less than half of the people get to play. In what amounts
to a brute strength challenge, Savaii uses Keith, Dawn, and Jim; Upolu uses
Brandon, Stacey, and Albert. Interesting decisions, pretty much wrong across
the board, as far as I'm concerned. Twenty-something professional athlete
Mikayla is probably stronger than forty-something mortician Stacey. Brandon and
Dawn are...not large people, though I will say this, they're both determined
little critters. And...honestly, I don't know what I'd do between Ozzy and Jim.
Jim is "bigger", but he's "big" like portly, not
"big" like "muscular". Ozzy is more a "finesse"
athlete than a "hold weight" athlete...but he's Ozzy. I cannot think
of a physical challenge in which Ozzy is not better than pretty much any
alternative. The only way I sit Ozzy out of a challenge is if I'm sitting him
out for Tom Westman or (sorry, Aras) Terry Deitz.
Mostly, I think this twist helps Savaii. Upolu's three is
stronger than Savaii's three. Upolu's ideal three is stronger than Savaii's
ideal three. But Upolu's six is so much stronger than Savaii's six, it just
wouldn't have been competitive at all.
The tribes play this smart, spreading it out. That just makes
sense to me. If you load up Keith and Albert with 200 pounds, sure, you'll
break them...but then you leave everyone else rested. Make everyone carry a
little weight before you break the big guys, and then it's boom, boom, boom.
(Some trenchant analysis here. It's five in the morning, what do you want from
me?)
Dawn makes a grim face. Aww. Dawn, you're adorable. Never
change. Except, cry less. Change that. But other than the crying, never change.
Albert falls out of the challenge, yelling, "Damn it!"
twice. So that's four words spoken by Albert on the season.
Jim gets up to 240 pounds, a Survivor record. Okay, I was wrong
about his portliness. And...Dawn outlasts Stacey! Wow. My "this challenge
is rigged for Upolu" theory turned out like most of my other theories. I
still think Mikayla would've been stronger than Stacey.
Stacey confessional: she knows she got some votes last time, but
proved she's stronger than any of the girls, so she thinks they'll keep her,
but she might get blindsided. Okay. Where to start?
1. You are not on the bottom because you are physically weak.
You are on the bottom because you chose to isolate yourself along with one of
the most unpleasant Survivor players ever - and you yourself don't seem like
the bluebird of happiness most of the time. So proving yourself relatively
strong in challenges...that's kind of not the point.
2. You are not "stronger than any of the girls". You
got beat by a forty-something college professor who's the size of one of your
fingers and who stood up there for an hour with a hundred pounds on her back,
which is 59 minutes longer than she's ever stood anywhere before without having
to take a break to cry. Other women on your tribe who, based on build and
determination, seem like they would have done better in this challenge than
you, include Mikayla and Sophie. And Christine, if she'd still been there. So
basically, your argument is, "I'm physically stronger than Edna."
Which...is a pretty sad argument.
3. If you know you're on the bottom, almost went home last time,
and just cost your tribe the challenge (sure, she did relatively well, but the
person whose ultimate failure is the dealbreaker often gets blamed), and you go
home, that is not "a blindside". That is "what happens in
Survivor".
Edna and Stacey palaver. Stacey is unreceptive and then
confessionals complaining that Edna hasn't talked to her since day one. The
edit has shown Stacey and Christine isolating themselves - talking to people is
a two-way street. Then Stacey complains that she should stay over Edna because
of how much she lifted. Which...even leaving aside my previous objections, was
in the past. The fact is, most Survivor seasons don't repeat similar
challenges. So if Stacey just did a challenge Edna can't do, the odds are
there'll be a future challenge Edna can do that Stacey can't. Say, a puzzle
challenge, or a smiling challenge. You vote people out based on what you think
they can do for you going forward, not on what they've already done for you,
and if your argument is, "I was mediocre today, and Edna would have been
even worse, so keep me!", you're...Survivoring wrong. I am so ready for
Stacey to be gone.
Ooh, foreshadowing! "Coach" randomly promises Stacey
it's either her or Edna. Why? Why put your ally on the chopping block like that?
Why not just say, "Stacey, you are the worst, and you're going home."
She's not going to the jury. Stacey then goes to Brandon - which is what I
would do, exactly, if I had no friends, try to screw the unstable guy's head
up. It works. Coach 3.0 does his Coach 3.0 thing, and bullies (vintage Coach)
Brandon into playing smart (New Improved Coach).
Sophie gives another cool, measured Sophie confessional about
what a loose cannon Brandon is, but it's just the editors trying to misdirect.
"Coach" confessionals that he's "out here for the third and
possibly final time". Thanks for threatening to come back,
"Coach" - I didn't need to eat today.
TC. Ben refers to "warrior spirit"; Albert smirks.
Foreshadowing: "Coach" can improve all he wants, but as long as he relies
on his stupid "Coach" tics, they still won't ever respect him. Jeff
makes Rick talk; he says that Albert snores. I miss the Rick we saw in the
first episode. Come back, Rick! More Mikayla/Brandon times. Stacey out. Ben
tries to hug her; she is having none of it. Then she boasts that she'll be
back. Well, I'm sure the people she refused to hug will welcome her with open
arms when that happens. What a jerk.
Previews for next week: Ben freaks out about people calling him
by his name. Seriously, if I needed to list my five least favourite Survivor
characters ever, Ben Wade, John Cochran, and Brandon Hantz would be in there.
Ugh.
Mark Kalzer
So I
don't know how this happened... but we seemed to agree on about 5 different
points in our seperate recaps....
We both seem to like Jim Rice despite
his over-playing... we both agree that Christine's posturing of 'I want them to
watch me win.' is completely redundant... that Ozzy talking like the expert on
strategy is out of place considering his track record, that it doesn't matter
what Stacey did in this week's challenge since weight lifting will not return,
and something else...
George
Hawtin
I think we've both seen Survivor before, is why.
Jim, I
think, could really grow given a second chance to play. But this is not going
well for him so far.
Mark
Kalzer
Yeah there's a lot of talk this season about Cochran
being the super fan but Jim is as much a super fan as Cochran. Only difference
is that Jim is in every alliance.
As would be All Stars go, I really want to
see him in a future season packed with other die hard strategy nuts. Caramoan
was such a wasted opportunity.
So George... in your opinion, when is the right
time to talk about strategy?
George
Hawtin
The most successful alliances in Survivor history have
banded together, made sure they had the numbers, made sure they kept the numbers,
and not made a single unnecessary move. So for Jim, the right time to talk
about strategy was:
a., day one, when he got his alliance of 5 together;
b.,
again when that alliance was at F5 together.
Anything in between there is just
him undermining his plans, which is what he ends up doing.
Mark Kalzer
Poetic
justice then is that the solid 5 person alliance will make up the (1st) final 5
this season.
Personally if I was Ozzy (and I not remotely Ozzy) I might
alarmed by the fact the guy keeps talking about strategy. That to me suggests a
Cesternino type figure in the making. If anyone is going to screw you over,
it's the guy who can't stop thinking about strategy.
 |
| Or this... |
George Hawtin
Yeah,
you're not remotely Ozzy. You're smart. Absolutely: Jim is a threat to Ozzy at
this point. He's like Cesternino in that he's willing and able to flip around
to best serve his game...but he's more like, gasp, a Russell Hantz, in terms of
his sense of his paranoia what will actually serve his game.
Mark Kalzer
Timing
is everything in Survivor strategy. This will happen next week but we can talk
about it here since it's being talked about. Ozzy is in a dangerous position of
power... but I don't think now is the best time to take him down.
If you enter
a merge with numbers the people on both tribes are bound to be wanting to get
Ozzy out as quickly as possible.
The real problem is Redemption Island. You
can't possibly vote Ozzy out and not anticipate him returning.
You what upsets
me most about Ozzy? I listened to his Survivor Oz interview today. I generally
like the guy, but man, his strategy going into this season was basically to
just use Redemption Island to coast in the game.
George Hawtin
Oh,
absolutely. RI was made for a guy like Ozzy.
Mark Kalzer
Ozzy
knows he doesn't even need to try to play strategically. That bothers me as a
super fan.
.jpg) |
| "Redemption Island. Now THAT'S a strategy!" |
George Hawtin
We
saw in Cook Islands, where he nearly beat Yul, that Ozzy is great at just
sitting back and being friendly and letting other people do his dirty work. As
a fan of Survivor dirty work, it annoyed me that he nearly won CI, but at least
it's a legitimate strategy. At least he was still in the game having to vote
out the same people Yul was having to vote out.
George Hawtin
If
you give him a situation where he can be out of the game entirely, not
responsible for voting out any of the jurors, where his challenge prowess can
earn him a seat in front of the jury, *and* where he can have a day or two to
privately butter up each juror as they come through RI...he's unstoppable. It's
practically the equivalent of rigging the game for him.
Mark Kalzer
Let's
get to the other major take away from this episode... if you weren't already
sick of Russell Hantz, brace yourself. You're going to get a lot of references
to him this week.
I remember back in Australian Outback where the leading
directive to the players was to not reference the events of Borneo. Each season
back then was meant to be it's own separate storyline.
Nowadays though players
seem to be just making casual reference to past popular players just to get
airtime.
Smart people like us already know that it doesn't matter who
Russell's uncle is, but Mikayla and Probst seem to just be hitting this over
and over again... this theme that Russell Hantz is manifested in this game.
But
what is the point of this? Brandon is not playing anything like Russell except
for maybe the sexism. He's not in control, he's making terrible game moves and
he can't decide what type of player he is. If you're watching this hoping some
kind of Russell emerges have you not given up already by episode 4?
 |
| She has. He hasn't. |
George Hawtin
Well
put. That annoys me very much. I can't think of two players who are more
different than Russell and Brandon. The dramatic tension of Russell comes from
the fact that he generally gets what he wants - he boots the people he
perceives as threats, and then sits at the end with people he perceives he can
beats - but that what he wants is *wrong*. His perceptions are faulty. I know
most people either Love or Hate him, but I'm in the middle---I don't respect
his gameplay at all, but I find him fascinating both as a player and as a psychological
case study.
George Hawtin
Brandon
is the opposite. Brandon is unpredictable. Brandon is unstable. Russell is very
stable. I bet if you and I listed twenty people we know and then said,
"Let's imagine Russell is on a Survivor cast with these people," we
could easily come to an agreement on how Russell would want that season to play
out.
Mark Kalzer
I'm
in the middle as well. I hate that he's started this trend towards inward
focused players who are blind to how they are perceived. Almost willfully
ignorant.
 |
| Also this. |
George Hawtin
Brandon?
Brandon's the opposite.
So assuming they're the same just because they're
relatives, that's just foolish.
Mark
Kalzer
So Stacey gets voted out this week but it really feels
like Edna had it the worst this week. She tried to integrate herself into the
tribe but just everything was a non-starter.
I feel for her. About her only
game right now is to hold out for the merge and then shake things up.
George Hawtin
Edna's
a really interesting character. I think her play this week was designed to put
her in the core, but all it did was confirm her as the sixth out of five.
Mark Kalzer
You
can definitely see the effect of hunger affecting the social dynamics. When you
get to this state something as simple as a laugh gets to you.
George Hawtin
There
are really worse places to be than sixth out of five. I would argue that Edna
is in the *best position* of the players in the game right now. If she can get
to F3, she won't be blamed for voting out the jurors, because she wasn't in the
alliance. People find her annoying, but nobody who matters seems to HATE her.
The
trick is getting from sixth to third.
And her inherent passivity seems to keep
that from happening.
Mark
Kalzer
If I credit Coach for anything, it would be for keeping
Edna in line when she should be manoeuvring at the merge.
George Hawtin
Yeah,
that's the other thing (the hunger thing) I don't really cut these people
enough slack for. I'm sure if Christine, Stacey, etc., were this irritable in
real life, they might not have wanted to be on such a social show. It's
probably just the hunger getting to them.
Mark Kalzer
Now
was it just me or was this Jeff's worst tribal council hosting we've seen in a
long time?
I already hate it when reality producers try to stir up drama.
Probst showed the subtlety of a sledgehammer when he starts asking players to
name the most annoying this about their tribemates.
 |
| "Hey Rick! Dontcha hate Albert?! Come on!" |
George Hawtin
Yeah,
I don't know what bothers me more---the unsubtle attempt to stir things up between
Mikayla and Brandon (which is too aggressive hosting for my standards, but
which I at least understand), or the pathetic attempts to camouflage it by
pretending to just be randomly pairing names. Asking Rick what he doesn't like
about Albert, for example, is just silly.
Mark Kalzer
Now
there are two moments that are my favorite here... I actually LOVE the scene
between Coach and Brandon. Brandon tries to give Coach some bogus intel and
Coach puts him in his place. I think this was the most honest a moment we've
had from Benjamin in any of his seasons.
George Hawtin
It's
a long ways from HVV when Tyson has to give *him* a reality check, that's for
sure.
I'm looking forward to rewatching the Cochran flip episode, because I
recall thinking that how Coach played Cochran is some of the best Survivor play
ever. I wonder if I'll still think that.
What was your other favourite
moment?
Mark Kalzer
The
other scene I loved was Coach attempting to hug Stacey on her way out. This is
another theme that we will see a lot of later on that how Coach perceives the
tone of the game is radically different from how the people voted out see it.
George Hawtin
That's
the story of the season, right? At least as the show depicts it? Coach runs the
game, but he overdoes the insincerity and loses the jury because of it.
Mark Kalzer
You'd
think someone who's been voted out twice already would be able to relate to how
little honour and integrity there is in voting someone out.
and yes that's how
I see it.
We will continue to rail on coach here for the delusional way he
talks. But I don't think the intention from the editors POV is for us to root
for him.
Coach may be miles ahead of the player he was before... but he's
still setting himself up for a standard he cannot live up to.
It's almost as
if Coach thinks he is entitled to respect.
George Hawtin
He
always has. He's Coach, after all.
 |
| "Yup, that's me!" |
Mark Kalzer
I
hate to use the phrase 'You're watching it wrong', in fact I'm not entirely
sure who originated or what it's referring to... but Coach is being set up here
as the fool. That's the arc the producers are giving him.
It's the same as
with Russell. A lot of people seem to think he's the lead of those two seasons,
but I think the producers are well aware of the story they are telling when
they choose confessionals to air.
Russell
was just so damn sure of his superiority, we're just waiting for his fall.
George Hawtin
It
is confusing, though, because there are ways in which Coach plays well this
time.
Mark Kalzer
That's
sort of the conflict that drives the story. Coach almost played a winning game.
But it was seriously flawed.
George
Hawtin
Compare how Coach handles Brandon - the tough love - with
how Brandon's dad handles Brandon (ineptly). Coach reads Brandon well. He knows
what Brandon needs.
Mark
Kalzer
Yes but what Brandon also needs is to make final 3.
And
Brandon feels a connection with Coach that goes beyond the game. That goes into
faith and all sorts of big words with little meaning.
Even without redemption
island, how you vote somebody out decides weather you win or lose.
George Hawtin
Has
Coach ever mentioned his alleged Christianity before this season?
I feel
like he hasn't. I feel like in Tocantins, he sold himself as this far-East
spiritual/mystic type. Not a practitioner of the sort of Christianity a Brandon
Hantz might practice.
Mark
Kalzer
I can't recall.
I peeked at episode 5 and there's
definitely a moment where he's alone and he prays to god to help him find the idol.
George Hawtin
I
was going to ask you if you rewatched the whole season in advance or if you're
watching it live, as I am.
Mark
Kalzer
I'm watching it live week to week.
I can't think of much
else to discuss in this episode. It's fairly routine.
George Hawtin
Yeah,
it was a fairly straightforward episode. Is the Elyse boot next?
Mark Kalzer
Yes.
There's
a lot to discuss there.
George
Hawtin
Okay, well, a short week, then. Looking forward to it!
Mark Kalzer
yeah...
most of what we wanted to say I think we said in our recaps.
I'll write my
next one over the weekend.
Mark
Kalzer
Just make sure to enjoy elyse while you still have her.
.jpg)
George Hawtin
No
one ever needs to remind me to enjoy Elyse.
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